1. "You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you just went through."
2. "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch after you wear them a while."
3. "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."
4. "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?"
5. "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?"
6. "Warning! You want a warning? O.K, I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."
7. "Just how big were those 'two beers' you say you had?"
8. "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can."
9. "I'm glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail."
